he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
