Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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