I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
