Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
