Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
