Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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