The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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