fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
