the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
