I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize