I will die if light touches me.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
