Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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