just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
i am craving dick and cupcakes
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
