I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
