508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize