he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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