What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I love you. Go after that dick
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize