I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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