i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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