you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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