Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
