I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize