Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
