after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
