we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
