dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
