Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I can't turn off my feet"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize