carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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