come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize