hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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