Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
