i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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