I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
