i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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