And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Every concussion has its silver lining
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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