sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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