he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
