halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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