At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
handjob tips. give me some.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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