Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
