i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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