You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
