I think im going to throw up on grandma
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
