If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
