Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
