She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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