FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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