you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
