so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize