Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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