That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
