Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
