More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
