wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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