GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize