why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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