If i come over, it means nothing
i was born a porn star she said
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
