dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
