Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
