Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
you will always have a special place in my vag
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
