is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
