Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
