the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
