i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
