if you like me you must not know who I am
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
