It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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