worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
