Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
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