all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
