i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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