omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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